Bling, Brisket, and Bite Marks: A Hot Mess Queen’s Recap of Glory
Yesterday? Meh.
💻 Work Was Poppin’: Knocked out a workday like the glam boss I am. Hit my deadlines, answered emails, and still had time to be fabulous.
🍔 Diet? What Diet?
Sis, listen. I had a barbecue brisket Whopper Jr. and shared onion rings with Lincoln like it was a sacred Southern ritual. And I regret nothing.
Today? Oh honey, today was a whole sitcom wrapped in glitter and garnished with victory.
✨ The Rundown:
🏋️♀️ Room Makeover at 3 A.M.:
Rearranged my whole bedroom like a lunatic on a mission. Moved a 200-pound dresser, bed, desk, and basically redefined what “woman on a mission” looks like. Someone give me a medal. Or a margarita.
💄 I Got Up and Showed Up (ok yeah - there's a little filter in there - bout it's mostly me!)
For the first time in a long time, I got up and actually showed up for myself.
I washed my hair.
Put on makeup.
Slipped into a gorgeous new dress from Temu (tight in the midsection, but give me 10 more pounds and I’ll be floating).
And y’all…✨ That $4 spray foundation from Temu is a MIRACLE.
It goes on like a whisper and blurs every pore like I got kissed by a Luminess Air angel. ✨
🩺 The Doctor’s Appointment
Not the fun part, but the necessary one.
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TSH: 42 (normal is 0.4–2.0). My thyroid? Not working.
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Cholesterol: Over 300.
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Triglycerides: Too high.
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A breast lump with “orange peel” rippling and nipple inversion = Immediate mammogram + ultrasound ordered.
We’re switching thyroid meds to nighttime.
Starting atorvastatin.
And preparing to do a sleep study and colonoscopy.
It’s a LOT… but it’s not the end. Not even close. Didn't do the heart patch today - that got DC'd until after the labs.-
🍕 Zeni, Pizza, and Accountability
My sweet baby Zeni got her pizza today, as promised.
When I told her I wanted to see her Sunday, she said:“Okay… and don’t be late.”
EXCUSE ME, MA’AM. 😭 She’s 4 going on CEO.
Storytime: One day, I caught her doing something she absolutely wasn’t supposed to be doing. I looked her dead in the eye and said, “Zeni, if you do that again, I’m gonna whip your little ass.”
She took one full step back, crossed those arms like she pays rent, tilted her head, and without flinching said,
“Well, do it then.”Y’all. I DIED. Right there. That was the moment I knew the sass runs deeper than blood — it’s genetic warfare. That baby is straight-up me, but in a smaller, cuter, more dangerous form. She's got my curls, my dimples, and apparently… my attitude.
That’s the moment that reminded me:
I’m not just fighting for myself.
I’m fighting for them—for my six grandbabies who need me strong, healed, and present.🍪 Mel’s Oatmeal Cookies:
Lawd have mercy. That woman put her foot in those cookies. I ate them like they were prescribed by Jesus himself.
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🎨 Projects Galore:
We’ve got three queens cookin’ in the creative kitchen: -
🌈 Rainbow Ice Cream Clip Art — 171 images and not a sprinkle out of place.
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🧵 Sewing Color & Activity Book — vintage charm and educational giggles.
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🎗 Breast Cancer Coloring & Journal Book — powerful, pretty, and releasing August 15th.
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👟 Blinged-Out Crocs:
Yesterday’s mail brought me a Mary Margaret-approved Temu GOLD STAR item — glittery Croc charms that made my shoes the sassiest pair this side of the bayou. TikTok saw the unboxing. Now it's time for the big reveal — 
💔 On Lacey… and Letting Go Without Hate
I haven’t heard from her. And yeah… it hurts.
But I can’t keep placing myself where rejection lives.This isn’t new. Our history is full of closed doors and unanswered calls.
I love her. I pray for her.
But I’ve stopped chasing.Because I’m finally learning that loving someone doesn't mean setting yourself on fire to keep them warm.
“I pray for her every day. I just don’t chase her anymore.”
—Me🛠️ I Built the Dang TV Cart
A year ago? I’d have begged Fischer to help me.
Today? I built that big-ass TV cart myself—all 55 inches of stubborn metal and confusion.Floof hid under the bed.
I didn’t.I sweated like a Pentecostal at a tent revival and made it happen anyway. And when I tell you I was exhausted?
This is what “I don’t wait to be rescued anymore” looks like. No make up, worked to the bone, sweating like a like a preacher’s wife at a Magic Mike matinee.
“These bags under my eyes?They’re packed for a guilt trip, a stress retreat, and a one-way flight to 'I’ve Had Enough-ville.'” 🎒👀✈️
📈 Double Move Goal = Double Glory
My Apple Watch blew up today when I hit 200% of my move goal.
FIRST. TIME. EVER.Proof that even in the chaos, progress is happening.
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📺 And Let’s Talk Klaus Michelson…
Yes, he was on the TV. Yes, I saw him. And YES, I’d teach that vampire prince a few things about getting bit back. I don’t care if he’s immortal — I’m fifty-eight and would wreck his world in the best way possible. Might even request a little bite mark on my carotid just to spice things up.
🕑 2 A.M. Confessions from a Queen with Work in the Morning...
Y’all—it’s 2 a.m.
I’ve got work in a few hours, makeup wipes calling my name, and a dog giving me side-eye for ignoring his bedtime snacks. But before I shut this laptop and crawl into my castle-sized bed (with my vampire daydreams and fuzzy socks), let’s close it out right:
With prayer, a spicy quote, and the hope that you have the sweetest, steamiest bad boy dreams ever. ✨🩸
🙏 Prayer for the Bold, Bitten & Blessed:
Dear Lord,
Thank You for the fire You put in my heart—even when the world tried to snuff it out.
Thank You for the boldness to love fiercely, laugh loudly, and live fully—even when the pieces felt broken.
Help me remember that I am worthy of love, passion, healing, and holy mischief.
Keep me grounded in grace, and when life bites… remind me I can bite back (with prayer, sass, and maybe a glass of red).
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
🖤 Bad Boy Quote of the Night:
"He said I was dangerous… I told him I’m holy too. Now he’s hooked on both."
Stay tuned for the next chapter of Hot Mess & Holy After Dark—where the eyeliner’s sharp, the dreams are sinful, and the bad boys know how to pray (or at least fake it real good).
Queen Maggs 👑
aka the Hot Mess in Black Lace
& His Royal Floofness, Lincoln 🐾
Biting back since birth. Blogging through the chaos. Still here, still holy, and definitely not done.
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