Okay, let’s just call it: I’m spiraling. And not in a cute “oops I overthought a text message” kind of way. I mean full-on, chest-tight, ugly-cry panic mode. Because somehow I’m the only one in this motel room who realizes that we are one checkout away from the street.
Everyone else? Sleeping. Scrolling. Laughing at TikToks. And I’m sitting here holding the universe together with duct tape, prayer, and a bad internet signal.
I’m tired. I’m pissed. I’m scared. I’m praying like my life depends on it—because it does.
I’ve posted. I’ve prayed. I’ve pitched. I’ve created new Etsy listings with shaking hands and answered Fiverr messages while trying not to scream. I’m not lazy. I’m not ungrateful. I’m not irresponsible.
I’m just drowning. Quietly. In plain sight.
And here’s what I know:
- I can’t cry in front of the kids.
- I can’t scream at God (though we’re currently not on speaking terms… except when I whisper “please”).
- I can’t collapse, because I’m the Wi-Fi password, the paycheck, the meal planner, the everything.
So I’m putting it here.
Not to get attention. Not to get sympathy. But because I need a freaking miracle.
And if you’ve ever been in this place, you know the silence is louder than the fear.
If you can help? Thank you. If you can’t? Please pray. Or share. Or don’t judge. Or maybe do all three because I’m too tired to tell you what to do.
Cash App: $maggie050167
Venmo: @maggie050167
Etsy Shop: maggieprintzcharming.etsy.com
Blog (yep, you’re on it): ashestoarmor.blogspot.com
And if you’re new here: Hi, I’m Maggie (short for Margaret). I cuss sometimes. I pray always. And I still believe God sees me, even when I can’t see anything ahead but fog and unpaid bills.
To Studio 6 and manager Khan:
Y’all are angels in human form. I don’t know how we’d be surviving this without your patience and kindness. May the Lord bless you with every good thing and unlimited PTO
insert sassy prayer here….
xoxo
Mags and Lincoln
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